Dude, Why A Funeral Home?

When we were making the plans for the NYC Release Party of Freak of Nurture I talked with the lovely women at the Sealy Cuyler Funeral Home* about having the reading there. They sagely asked “Why a funeral home? Are you at all worried that this will make people uncomfortable?”

The short answer is : Yo, I’ve had two partners die in a period of seven years. Of the same disease. At the same exact age. I make people uncomfortable by walking in the room. Let’s have some fun with it!

If you’re still not down with the idea of coming to a funeral home for a book party, I came up with a list of reasons why it’s going to be awesome. Pick your favorite:

1. Opportunity to see the inside of a really cool, bright green funeral home without someone you love dying.

See? Totally cool looking.

See? Totally cool looking.

2. Deal with your own fear of death for free instead of paying your sliding scale therapist¬† to say annoying things like “how does that make you feel?” when it’s already 100 percent obvious how you feel.

3. Be able to cruise for a date in a funeral home setting without being a complete anti-social jerk.

4. Laugh really hard at the readings I’ll be doing and thus reinforce neural pathways that deal with trauma AND help you remember where you left your apartment keys.

5. Have something cool to do on a Saturday afternoon so you can go home and watch teeveee on Saturday night with a clear social conscience.

6. Space is all ages and wheelchair accessible and vegan. Well mostly it’s vegan because you can’t serve food there on account of the board of health prohibiting eating & drinking at funeral homes. So much for my funeral home/frozen pizza theme restaurant idea.

7. Cause you’re a badass.

8. Cause you’re a New Yorker and you think things like this are cool and you might even wear your skinny jeans and flannel shirt just to show how ironically not ironic about being ironic you are.

9. Cause you want to support me on my big day, and you know I’m never going to have a wedding because of my Black Widow reputation. I mean, not saying I CAUSE cancer, just saying you probably shouldn’t get married to me if you’ve ever been a smoker or worked in an asbestos factory.

10. Because you’re going to laugh your head off. But not literally. But even if you did literally laugh your head off, no worries because you’re totally already at a funeral home.

The NYC release party is Saturday, May 18th at 4 pm at Sealy Cuyler Funeral Home 1084 Pacific (C or S to Franklin Avenue) Brooklyn NY 11238. Totally free. More details and updates on the facebook event.

* Sealy Cuyler is women-owned, and POC owned. And they’re really kind and caring and knowledgeable and LGBTfriendly. So if your plans call for use of funeral home, I bet they’d be a good pick.